i wish i could tell you that i liked you. i don't want you to know i like you, but i want you to know that somebody loves you. there's somebody out there throbbing in her heart because of you. i wonder how that would make you feel.
aren't you great? you're clever and handsome and popular and everyone likes you. will it flatter you to know that someone loves you? or will the information be like another postcard in your crowded letterbox? just a reinforcement of your ego? or will it scare you? will it be obvious it is me?
there is so much i'm curious about. i'm curious about who was the last person you loved, or the person you love now. is she as heartbreakingly wonderful as you? is she horribly intelligent? is she exquisitely pretty? does she love you back?
this is ridiculous. i don't love you. i'm enamoured, infatuated, excited, blinded and fascinated. i'm not willing to die for you. i'm not going to give you my life or my heart. i only have admiration and fondness for you. you are like a castle built in my heart, a dream in my consciousness. you're just a boy that everyone loves, and i have fallen into your net. only you never cast a net for me.
someday i might regret how much sentiment i allotted you. maybe one day i'll wish i'd kept this affection for someone more meaningful and important to me.
you're not unimportant, but there's no hope of ever making you love me anyway. and if in the millionth of a chance you did, my love for you is not heavy enough to anchor something to last.
i'm just a silly little girl with a silly little crush. my heart is a faintly beating, weak, small object swayed by the idea of you. insignificant... meagre... senseless... trivial... all this is nothing. like an itch, a cut, a bite, it matters now, it brings feeling now, it occupies the present...... but in the big picture,
it is emptiness.